I felt like a prisoner this morning and all my little fantasies of going to whole foods grocery were squelched. I sat and pouted for a few minutes and in the midst of my pouting I got really mad. And when Jillian gets mad, things usually get accomplished. After I had Ellie and the scale still said I weighed close to 200 lbs, everyone was all: Oh, but you just had a baby, you're supposed to be fat. And I was all: I freaking hate you Angelina Jolie! And then I got pissed off enough to change myself. And I got skinny again...skinny(ish).
On this morning I decided that I wasn't going to let a little thing like not having a car at my disposal stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I live in a city with great public transportation, so I decided to take advantage of it. I put Ellie in her carrier (it's like being pregnant all over again) and got out my reusable and quite cute grocery bags from Trader Joe's and walked to the bus stop by my house. I am unaccustomed to riding the bus. But I had gone online and read as much as I could find out about how it worked, so I just did it.
I have never been one to let fear keep me from doing something. Was I afraid to ride the bus? In a way, yes. I was afraid that I would miss my stop, or that I wouldn't have the right change and look like a fool. I was afraid I would get lost. But I WENT ANYWAY. If I am anything I am a good faker of bravery and stubborn as a mule when I get my mind set on something. And I have learned from experience that whatever air you project, that is what people generally perceive about you.
And would you believe that the bus actually took me to the metro like it said it would? And then we rode the train the three stops to where the Whole foods is, and I went in and didn't buy a thing. I realized while I was in there that most of what they sell, with the exception of just a few items, can be purchased at the farmers markets or my local grocery. And then right there in the stinky cheese section, Jillian had an epiphany. It came to me that while I have dropped some serious bucks in that store in the past, what I really went there to do was to buy into their "message" and more or less feel cool for being one of "those people". And I do have to admit, I could look at all the people in that store for hours, but at the end of the day, the local peaches from the farmers market taste just as good as the ones purchased from the kid with the faux-hawk and a lip ring at Whole foods.
So, we walked back to the train just as we had come, empty handed. When we got home I felt proud of myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone, and I was actually grateful that Jeremy had left my keys God knows where. I do kind of wish I had gotten that brocolini though. It sounds so good right about now.