Friday, August 8, 2008

Blogging About Blogging is Like Looking Into a Folding Mirror.

Having spent most of my adult life as a wandering dilettante, I have found it hard to pick a craft and stick with it now that I'm a married chick with a baby.  Why oh why aren't there gypsies in America?  'Cause I could totally rock as a gypsy.  I vowed to stay at home to raise my children, but sometimes it has been hard financially. And at times I was compelled to look for a way to contribute to the finances. So the dilettante in me reared her paint covered, bookish head and said, Do something, be creative.  But to an even greater extent there was and is a voice inside of me that longed to be heard.  A voice that desired to share my experiences with others and connect with people in a way that makes us say, Yeah, we are human too and we know exactly what you're feeling.

So as I was trying to figure out a way to stay at home and still contribute to the family finances, I came across an article about a teenage girl who had formed  a company worth a million dollars just by making layouts for Myspace pages.  And then a light bulb went off in my head. The dilettante in me said: You could write a blog for other Mothers like you and talk about the things that affect us, make us cry, make us laugh, and maybe you could make money doing it.  And then after a few clicks of the mouse I discovered that about a million other Mothers had the same idea.  Damn, too late once again! 

It was in my search that I came across this blog, which I read every day and laugh at almost every day.  And this blog which led me to my long lost hurricane neighbor and this blog which I read almost every day and also makes me laugh.  Through the course of writing here I feel like I have formed a kind of friendship with people that regularly comment or email me even though we have never personally met.  And that's exactly what I was hoping for. Well, that and a million dollars. But alas, I have given up the hope to profit financially from this venture.  And that's OK.  The human connections are well worth it alone.

In the reading of the other blogs I just mentioned, I discovered something called Blogher, which I guess is a network for all of these women to connect, learn, and grow.  I really couldn't tell you.  I'm too busy trying not to let the house burn down.  Over the past couple of days there has been some drama and rumblings on the internet about an incident that happened at the Blogher conference in San Francisco recently between her and her.  I'm not going to lie and say I didn't read up on it.  I did.  And in the course of doing so I found some very ugly and hateful things being said about both sides.  And it made me take a step back and think.

I realized that it is so easy to get caught up in this world just like Megan said, and the world that really doesn't even exist can somehow cloud our perception of the people behind it who are real, with real feelings.  It made me very sad.  Especially sad to realize that even the women who should be steadfast in their support of each other can act catty and childish like so many of the comments and posts I read were proof of.

After saying all of that, my point really is this.  What I read yesterday and today formed the head of a giant, nasty pimple of feelings that have been brewing in me for awhile now.  In the process of trying to form connections outside of my home and through a craft that I enjoy, I have neglected to strengthen the connections that are right in front of me.  I think I may spend way too much time in front of the computer.  And not only is this likely causing some kind of retinal dysplasia; I am missing precious moments of life with my Husband and child.  Moments that can never be relived.

No, I'm not going away.  I will continue to update you on recent shenanigans, probably daily.  But I am making a personal vow to step away from this piece of hardware for all but one hour a day.  So, I better come prepared and with fingers of lightning speed when I do come.  I'm gettin dirty folks.  I'm going to be a coloring, swinging, Elmo watching, bike riding, peanut butter and jelly in little heart shapes making, husband worshipping fool.  And that's the way it should be. 

Right now there is a little girl with big green eyes asking me to share some "hot coffee" out of blue plastic teacups in front of a huge play kitchen.  And I couldn't think of anything that would make me happier. 

9 comments:

Charlotte said...

Enjoy your precious coffee!

When you do come back, would you let snoopy people look in your bike bag?

Here's an invitation

If you don't carry tools, a pump, or whatever, will you tell us why? You don't have to, I'm just a nosy neighbor to your north.

damichelsons said...

Jill,

You are one of the best moms I have ever seen (and as a former teacher, I have seen A LOT of moms)! Ellie is such a well-rounded, intelligent, beautiful little girl and a lot of that credit goes directly to you. (Well, she does look a lot like Jeremy, but still....) Dave was only around Ellie for a little while, but he was blown away. He was ready to make a baby! ;) But, only if that baby could be as great as Ellie.

Now, I see those pictures of Jeremy on Ellie's bike in the living room, but you were on there too. And, YOU were the one carrying her on your back and teaching her how to hang on to your neck so you two could get in and out of that sling by yourselves. And, even with a hot, piping bowl of carbohydrates staring you in the face, you drew Ellie a picture of a horse, and not just any kind of stick horse, a horse that actually looked like a horse! You are a good mom, and you are sharing all of your knowledge and wisdom (be it big or small) with the fortunate few (and hopefully soon-to-be many) who read this blog.

I commend you, and love you lots and lots along the way.

Hugs to you and Ellie, a wink to Fairway, and kisses upon kisses to my LUVAH Jack Johnson.

Amanda

Jillian said...

Ok here we go!
Charlotte,
I would love to contribute. I will do so this weekend sometime.

Amanda, LOVE YOU! You are such an uplifting person, I think I will have to drain you of your essence and drink it. I had such a GOOD time with you, but it was to short.

Megan {Velveteen Mind} said...

I completely understand what you are saying. I know you are disappointed that I responded to the latest blog drama, which you know I never do, but this one was personal.

You (the plural you) can not call yourself part of a community, nay the creator of the community, if you hold yourself above it. If you wield your power so irresponsibly, betraying the trust of your readers by shading your versions of the story so cruelly.

So I stepped in.

Into a hot mess, apparently. I may never get it off of my shoe, but I hope you understand why I did it. Someone was hurt in this because these are real people, regardless of how popular.

I hate that I disappointed you, but there is always collateral damage. Okay, I don't actually know what that means, but I think it means that in order to help one, I had to sacrifice the opinion of me held by possibly many. That's an easy decision to make.

Anonymous said...

Jill, you could seriously make a book (coffee table perhaps) of your blogs. Women (Especially us stay at home moms) would LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It could bring in your millions. You already have so many fans.
Much Love

Freth :0p said...

There are gypsies in America ... they are called Truck Drivers (those people who live in big commercial trucks and wander all over America hauling loads).

I had to go with a folding bicycle inside the truck ... because I never got "home" to use my other one (besides, there are some places where it is just too difficult to take a big truck when you want to go shopping).

Loralee Choate said...

The thing about the blogging community is that it comes with a lot of negative baggage as well the really good stuff.

Sometimes you get hit by a flying suitcase...It's impossible to avoid all the time.

Jillian said...

@megan (hehe I learned that @ thing reading all those comments) I hope you haven't gotten the impression that this post was in any way directed at you in the sense that it is a giant wagging "no no" finger about the whole incident. Quite the contrary, after I read so much of what you said, your post and the comments that followed I began to understand more clearly.
The part that I was mainly appalled by was a blog I discovered that's apparent sole purpose is the degredation of one Dooce. Which no matter how anyone feels about her, the things said there were sickening.
Perhaps we would have gone about the same situation in different ways, but our differences are what make this world "exciting". Just remind me never to piss you off.
;)
@anonymous...is your name MY MOM???? Cause you sure do smell like her.
@freth, How interesting, I never thought of it the way you just put it. Although it seems that a truck driver's life is a solitary one and as I am a creature that thrives on people, I would require the mass exodus travels of the gypsies.
@lorelee, you just tickled me on the inside...suitcase...Plahhhhhhh

Red Flashlight said...

Okay, but only if you take pictures of said coloring, swinging, Elmo watching, bike riding, peanut butter and jelly in little heart shapes making, and husband worshipping activities and post them on your blog!

I agree that 'competition,' when it creeps into blogs, is pretty creepy. It's a shame and a waste of creative talent.