Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Hump Day Humor

Today is hump day, so to celebrate, I'm going to share with you some things that have recently made me laugh.

Riding in the car yesterday, the topic of Frodo (you know that guy from Lord of The Rings) came up, how I don't remember.  This is the conversation:

Me: It would be funny if someone made a caricature of the Pillsbury dough boy with an afro.

Jeremy: Ummmm, I don't get it.

Me: You know, FRO- DOUGH.

Jeremy: Smiles, and then says Yeah and they could put him in a bag.

Me: Now I don't get it.

Jeremy: You know Fro-Dough Bag-Ins; Frodo's last name is Baggins.

Me: Ohhhhhhh, HAHA you just won the who is a bigger nerd contest.  You know his first and last name.  And then I proceeded to sing a song with the word nerd repeated over and over to the tune of  The Star Spangled Banner (In hindsight, I believe THAT actually qualifies me as the bigger nerd)

Jeremy Gave me what I call the "courtesy chuckle" which is worse than not laughing at all and then said: Well you married the biggest nerd.

Me: And I luuuuvvvvvvvv it.

And then there was yesterday when this happened:

I find it a very sad and ironic state of affairs when an innocent tube of toothpaste has to be dismembered to extract the last bits of paste from her minty bowels.  This house is presided over by a dentist for Pete's sake!  And not only is he a dentist, but he is also a member of the ADA.  I don't think they recommend chopping your tubes of toothpaste in half with sharp, potentially deadly objects to obtain proper oral hygiene. 

This morning when I went to brush my teeth, I found the severed end of the tube with the spout neatly and tightly rolled back up in what appeared to be a blatant display of denial on the part of Jeremy.  It was as if he was saying, oh, there's at least 10 more squirts left in her.  While her poor back end lay crumpled and empty beside her in the drawer screaming I'M ALL USED UP, What a world, what a world.

This was my text to him later in the morning:  Steal copious amounts of toothpaste from your office.  Uncle Sam will understand.

Of course he won't because he doesn't posses one thieving drop of blood in his saintly system.  I like to get him riled up all the same. 


Charlotte said...

That photo makes me laugh! I think someone has been reading Bill Bryson, at least where it comes to toothpaste.

Anonymous said...

That's one impressive knife. I can only imagine what he'd do if he knew we squeezed the tube...from the middle!

smilezallday said...

You totally crack me up!!! I love to read your blogs!! It gets me out of my world and into a different world for a few moments!! I hope you and your beautiful family are doing well!

Jillian said...

Charlotte, I have not read Bill Bryson, but now I think I will just have to.

Obimom, I believe that we could have aptly inserted some DUN DUN DUN's into that sentence about squeezing from the middle. Truth be told I am the more anal one when it comes to tube squeeze position. ALWAYS FROM THE END.

Jamie, I'm so glad to make you smile. Thank you for the kind words. My goal is to make you shoot milk through your nose at some point.

Denny, Alaska said...

Uh, wouldn't scissors work better (and be safer) for this "activity?"

Just askin'. (Yeah, I do it too!)

Jillian said...

Denny, Alaska,
sure scissors would have worked beautifully. Except that I have hidden them all from the kid and myself apparently. Now all we have left to play with are knives. ;)