That conversation went something like this: Jillian, Hello, this is Dr. ______ You know that medicine you've been taking for almost three weeks, sulfadiazine? Well, we've spoken with a pathologist regarding possible side effects on an unborn baby and it looks as though the risk for severe jaundice, primarily kernicticus is very high so I want you to stop taking it.
ME: Oh, yeah, you mean the bottle of pills that has a warning label that clearly says, DO NOT TAKE IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER OF PREGNANCY? I thought you guys were cool with that. So, stop taking it as of now.
Dr. ____: Yes, stop taking it NOW.
Well, in all my foolish naivete, I assumed that this Dr. had confirmed with my eye doctor that it was OK for me to stop this medicine cold turkey. Because this was the actual stuff that killed the parasite. All the other ten bottles of pills are just to offset the effects of this crazy stuff and turn me into a moon pie with a buffalo hump. Which is actually one of the side effects listed in the pamphlet that came with my prednisone.
On my visit to the retinal Dr. the next week I casually mentioned how I had stopped taking the sulfa drug as they had recommended and his head nearly came dislodged from his neck and spun in circles in a plume of smoke. Apparently no one had talked to him about this. What followed was a flurry of calls that involved my eye Dr. ultimately scheduling me to have labor induced the following day. I was all, but my Husbaaaaaanddd isn't here! To which he was all, but your Mom is. So I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have a baby the next day.
I called Jeremy's clinic and told him what was going on and he amazingly drove through the night through rain and fog in time to take me to the hospital at five in the morning. That's when the real fun started. I was hooked up to an IV of pitocin (one of man's less desirable creations) and the contractions started. Approximately seven hours and a few pushes later, Ariane (Ari) Orion Hayes was born and THIS TIME I did cry and asked to hold her, and only THEN did I ask to see the placenta.
Those of you who read this blog regularly may remember the list of names I posted and wonder where the heck this one came from. Well, after all this baby and I went through what with the eye and the potential toxo going to her, none of those names felt right anymore. I needed something else. So one night my Father suggested Ariane which was the name of Audry Hepburn's character in a movie he had just watched called Love in The Afternoon. I liked it and liked what it meant. And since Ari means lion in Hebrew, we decided that would be her nickname. Ari and Ellie. My daughters. It's strange to say. Somehow life keeps catching up with me and I still feel like the kid I always was in my heart.
No matter what happens, I hope that never goes away. It allows me to remain unfazed and not become bitter by the curve balls that life hands me. So, here we are, back at home in my apartment near the capitol. I had a healthy baby girl and for that I am eternally grateful to God and all those who prayed for us. I know it made a difference if only for the fact that I was at peace and felt comforted.
And now, as they say, the hard part starts. Managing two children is infinitely harder than I imagined. At least for now. Like all things, we will learn how to handle it and find our family rhythm again. As for my eye, it's the same. And still, that's OK.
Here is Elsbeth being a big sister and Holding Ariane, which she wants to do ALL the time. It's very sweet.
Ariane and I at the hospital. As you can see I no longer have to wear the eye patch constantly, only in bright light, BUT my pupil does remain preeminently dilated giving me the look of being only HALF on drugs, or posessing the ability to shoot laser beams from it.