I know. It's been awhile. But don't think I haven't been thinking about you, Dear Readers. Because I have. Alot. It's just that I left my Mac Book with The Husband and the computer at my parents house was created sometime during the Cold War. You think I'm kidding. I am not. I'm surprised the keys even function from all the God only knows what bio material gummed in between them.
I don't care what anyone says, I can literally smell the end of summer. Especially in Indiana. I think it has to do with the corn. And perhaps the crop circles, but that's another post entirely.
I usually pack a couple changes of clothes for each kid whenever I leave the house. Because, well, you just never know. While loading Ari into the car after the gym today, I hear Ellie say, "I have to go to the potty". And then she did. Right there in the parking lot. So, I wiped her down and as I was changing her into the dress I brought I realized that I had forgotten to pack extra underwear for her. So, I just put the dress on her and made a mental note to add the undies when we got home.
I had to stop by the grocery store for a couple things on the way home and since I was only going to be in there for a minute; I carried Ari and had Ellie walk with me. Inside I gave her a hand wipe to keep her from getting distracted by all the dye riddled junk food placed at very questionable eye levels. She seemed very happy with this and gleefully showed me all the dirt that had come from her hands. I was only half listening and busily eyeing the aisles for smoked almonds (which have become a SERIOUS addiction) when I noticed that she wasn't by my side anymore.
I glanced around and to my HORROR found her in the area between the cash registers and the aisles (quite possibly the most visible place in the ENTIRE store) with her dress UP NEAR HER HEAD, halfway bent over, and yelling out to me, "Mommy I have to wipe my BUTT!" I think I sprouted several grey hairs at that moment as I hissed PUT YOUR DRESS DOWN.
And then there was the moment when I FINALLY got both children to sleep at the same time. I ran to the downstairs bathroom and jumped in what was my first shower in two days. Hey, DON'T JUDGE ME. It was like a small vacation and I was thouroughly enjoying my few moments to myself when I heard my Father come in.
Don't come out, He says.
Me: You're just peeing right, I hope you're just peeing.
Me: Oh, god, please does this have to happen NOW?
Him: Jill, what do you want me to do about it?
Me: FLUSH, for god sakes FLUSH!
Him: In between grunts and groans, Almooooost finished.
Me: I can't believe this is happening NOW.
And yes, despite my disbelief, it did happen. And my shower had lost the appeal it formerly held.
In other news, Ari has turned the corner of formerly EEEEVVVVIIILL baby and is now a smiling, gurgling, and YES laughing bundle of scrumptiousness. More on that to follow.